"Hi, yes, I need to submit the application for the funding initiative that closes today."
"I'm sorry, but the application period for that program closed at six pm this evening, Eastern Daylight Time."
"Yeah, I know, but I need to submit my school's application late. I know I'm allowed because, y'know, it's me."
"I'm very sorry, but as the deadline has passed, we will be unable to accept your application."
"But... What can I do?"
"Well, as you've had around nine months to submit your paperwork and you've chosen to put it off until this late on the very last day, I'd advise that you take the time to write up your resignation letter - when your school finds our that your procrastination has lost them 1.5 million dollars in funding, firing your arse is about the first thing they're going to fucking do."
(Portions of this conversation may have been altered to reflect what I would have rather said at the time.)
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